Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Partners for a Healthier Weight - Day 11

I`m still trudging along on the Partners for a Healthier Weight.  No taste or food has passed my tongue except for the vanilla or chocolate Optifast 900.  In the first 4 days on a liquid diet there have been a few moments I expected to be challenging.
  1. My family met with my sister and parents on an outing that included a picnic.  They were great and didn`t offer me any food, but did push a bottle of water on me.  (Not such a bad thing).
  2. Attended a birthday party with snacks, cake and ice cream.  Saying no the first round was easy, but I did have to get up and move away from the leftover cake.
  3. Helped my husband prepare the kids food for supper.  He was taking care of diapers, pasta and cooking.  So I pitched in to slice up cucumbers, cheese and ham.  It went ok... but I`m upstairs typing instead of downstairs with them because the smells were tempting.
Today I`m actually hungry.  Maybe because breakfast was late? Maybe because my back hurts and that makes me want to eat?  But I don't want anything sweet.  Cucumbers have become an over powering smell for me.  (I love cucumbers with salt).  I would trade a days worth of packets for tuna and cheese or just about anything with salt (especially cucumbers).

The idea of going without real food is still baffling to me.  Right now the approach is get up every morning and try my best for the day.  Celebrate how far I've come already.  So when I go to bed tonight, I'll be 5% done the liquid diet phase.  Down to 80 days.  In moments by myself I'm still too near tears about the fact that this is what it's taking me to lose weight, that I couldn't manage it by myself.

But I am losing weight, and I am trying to keep habits that kept off the weight from my first weight drop from near 280lbs to between 220 & 230lbs.  So I log my food.  (Silly, right?  The same thing 4 times a day).  My water is all logged, too.  I weigh myself everyday, but don't get worried about it.  Interestingly I did gain weight at least one day on the program.  Keeping my exercise up is a challenge.  There's a little lack of energy and also a nagging back pain that started the same day as the liquid diet.

Let's see how tomorrow goes.

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