Thursday, September 29, 2011

The hardest week yet

So the quick calculations have me at 27 days in to an 84 day process and complete 33%!  That means 108 Optifast down and 228 to go.
Weeks 1, 2 & 3 were a relative breeze. Week 4 was horrible. Saturday and Sunday were miserable. I spent the whole time napping. 4 naps in 2 days? A bit much for me.

Temptation has been everywhere and my desire to eat isn't waning. I'm craving salt - it almost seems like I can smell salt. To the point where I wouldn't make good choices. The salted cucumber I craved in week 1 has been replaced by a desire for potato chips.
The consistency is helping, and there is weight loss. But looking back over the last 3 weeks it doesn't seem worth the effort.  If  rate I'm losing doesn't increase my 12 weeks fasting will have a total impact of:

  1. reducing my activity level,
  2. losing some of my positive habits around exercise, 
  3. increasing some of my bad food cravings,
  4. missing my kids and stressing my husband, and
  5. losing on average 2lbs a week.
Would 24lbs be worth it?  Would 50lbs?

Is it worth running slower, feeling weaker?  Missing family meals?  Giving up an extra evening a week that could be spent exercising, being with my kids and giving my husband a break?

Right now the answer is a big fat IF.  This is only worthwhile IF it gives me a higher longer quality of life.  And my confidence about that is falling.

Not something I can answer yet, but at (what I hope is) the end of the worst week yet, it's hard to be positive.  But it's not impossible.

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