Let's just say my commitment to the program has been better than my commitment to blogging.
I'm 56 days into the 84 days of living exclusively on OptiFast 900. That's 2/3rds complete. It's been remarkable to see the shift from day 1. In the beginning I was worried about staying on the OptiFast. Now, on day 56, my worries are about re-introducing food.
The 2nd week of PMS was as brutal as the first. It's a struggle to stay on program and it's frustrating to GAIN WEIGHT on 900 calories a day. But it's educational to learn that if I hold true to being healthy even when it's hard, even when the results aren't there, at least I don't go backwards (much). I can hold within a pound or two and that might be the best it will ever be.
My cheats have been tiny and insignificant. There was a slice of fresh carrot and a lick of stuffing during Thanksgiving. The odd lick of a finger when making the kids food - almost always mindless. I chewed on a piece of ham and spit it out. There was a day when I started on tiny pieces of roast but I stopped pretty quickly. That's over 56 days! I'm pretty impressed with myself.
Showing posts with label obesity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label obesity. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
The worries of eating
There is an ease and convenience to the liquid diet. The lack of choice - for me there's not even a flavour option - just makes it simple. I grab a package for every meal I'll miss. Take a shaker. I know now that bottled water and ice are easily available at Subway, both my work spaces and (I've heard) McDonald's.
My sense is that I'm going to miss the simple packing and preparation when I return to real food. The return of stress of making the right choice and the work of creating food that's appropriate will both hit at the same time.
The Partners for Healthier Weight program spends the next few weeks talking about nutrition. It's exciting to have the opportunity to study the value of food and understand nutrition.
I wish I could embrace the counselling aspects of the program as well as the nutrition education. There is value in the counselling. My challenge is the willingness to work as it's needed. Some of it is just hard for me. Journaling makes me uncomfortable. The concept of building my support systems makes me value my friends even more and greatly appreciate their loyalty.
My sense is that I'm going to miss the simple packing and preparation when I return to real food. The return of stress of making the right choice and the work of creating food that's appropriate will both hit at the same time.
The Partners for Healthier Weight program spends the next few weeks talking about nutrition. It's exciting to have the opportunity to study the value of food and understand nutrition.
I wish I could embrace the counselling aspects of the program as well as the nutrition education. There is value in the counselling. My challenge is the willingness to work as it's needed. Some of it is just hard for me. Journaling makes me uncomfortable. The concept of building my support systems makes me value my friends even more and greatly appreciate their loyalty.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
The hardest week yet
So the quick calculations have me at 27 days in to an 84 day process and complete 33%! That means 108 Optifast down and 228 to go.
Weeks 1, 2 & 3 were a relative breeze. Week 4 was horrible. Saturday and Sunday were miserable. I spent the whole time napping. 4 naps in 2 days? A bit much for me.
Temptation has been everywhere and my desire to eat isn't waning. I'm craving salt - it almost seems like I can smell salt. To the point where I wouldn't make good choices. The salted cucumber I craved in week 1 has been replaced by a desire for potato chips.
The consistency is helping, and there is weight loss. But looking back over the last 3 weeks it doesn't seem worth the effort. If rate I'm losing doesn't increase my 12 weeks fasting will have a total impact of:
Temptation has been everywhere and my desire to eat isn't waning. I'm craving salt - it almost seems like I can smell salt. To the point where I wouldn't make good choices. The salted cucumber I craved in week 1 has been replaced by a desire for potato chips.
The consistency is helping, and there is weight loss. But looking back over the last 3 weeks it doesn't seem worth the effort. If rate I'm losing doesn't increase my 12 weeks fasting will have a total impact of:
- reducing my activity level,
- losing some of my positive habits around exercise,
- increasing some of my bad food cravings,
- missing my kids and stressing my husband, and
- losing on average 2lbs a week.
Would 24lbs be worth it? Would 50lbs?
Is it worth running slower, feeling weaker? Missing family meals? Giving up an extra evening a week that could be spent exercising, being with my kids and giving my husband a break?
Right now the answer is a big fat IF. This is only worthwhile IF it gives me a higher longer quality of life. And my confidence about that is falling.
Not something I can answer yet, but at (what I hope is) the end of the worst week yet, it's hard to be positive. But it's not impossible.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Running Large: Running Again
Today I start back to a Running Room clinic. John Stanton is going to be able to retire on what I've spent on the For Women Only program, Learn to Run program and 5km Program. (To be fair, I probably made back what I've paid when I was a co-instructor for the 5k.)
My latest foray into Learn to Run was reasonably successful. I worked my way up to 10&1x2. So I'm moving up with most of my clinic to the 5km program. I can already do the time, I tried it out a couple of weeks ago. 10&1x3 is doable. At my speed there's not much distance covered.
On the Partners for a Healthier Weight program during the 900 calorie OptiFast phase I can't increase my exercise. But since I've dropped a few other activities because summer is over, it should be fine.
The goal for this clinic is to keep moving. Based on my runs over the last 2 weeks I'll continue to lose speed from my super-slow speed walker pace to an even slower elderly-strollers-will-pass-me pace. Luckily there's a running buddy at my speed who keeps me at a reasonable starting pace. Looking forward to seeing her tonight.
My latest foray into Learn to Run was reasonably successful. I worked my way up to 10&1x2. So I'm moving up with most of my clinic to the 5km program. I can already do the time, I tried it out a couple of weeks ago. 10&1x3 is doable. At my speed there's not much distance covered.
On the Partners for a Healthier Weight program during the 900 calorie OptiFast phase I can't increase my exercise. But since I've dropped a few other activities because summer is over, it should be fine.
The goal for this clinic is to keep moving. Based on my runs over the last 2 weeks I'll continue to lose speed from my super-slow speed walker pace to an even slower elderly-strollers-will-pass-me pace. Luckily there's a running buddy at my speed who keeps me at a reasonable starting pace. Looking forward to seeing her tonight.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Lesson 2: There is a choice
Taking away choice is - at the moment - a relief. It removes the stress of debate. Sometimes the choices should have been easy: greek salad vs cheesies. But sometimes they were more challenging: greek salad vs garden salad. Plus there was always a debate about enough of the right protein.
When someone else made the food, I was never confident what to pick. When I made the food the debate just happened during the preparation.
When someone else made the food, I was never confident what to pick. When I made the food the debate just happened during the preparation.
Other times it didn't seem like there was a choice at all.
As ridiculous as it sounds, to me it seemed my body was demanding a cinnamon bun. With certainty that a fortune teller would envy, I could predict that after drinking the water and eating the healthy snack I was still going to have the cinnamon bun.
As ridiculous as it sounds, to me it seemed my body was demanding a cinnamon bun. With certainty that a fortune teller would envy, I could predict that after drinking the water and eating the healthy snack I was still going to have the cinnamon bun.
But now I see how that was my choice. And it's a little scary. Because there's a slippery slope.
Friday there was a trip to Costco and the sample tables were out My husband spotted and went for onion dip on ripple potato chips. It actually went though my mind... three chips can't be many calories, maybe I can have one. (I didn't!)
But the next thought was, maybe that's why I'm still struggling to lose weight. Those little blts (bites, licks, tastes and snacks) over years must add up. If my weekly trips to Costco included 250 calories of samples, that alone could help me gain 1/2lb in one year.
Now that I know I can, the task will be to choose to skip those taste tests in the future.
Now that I know I can, the task will be to choose to skip those taste tests in the future.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Lesson 1: What you control
Choosing to participate in 12-weeks of a medically supervised liquid diet teaches you a few unexpected lessons. The one that hits home right now is:
- you control what you control and nothing else.
Remember just a few days ago when I was worried over my weight loss? It wasn't much worth worrying about. Because I'm certainly not worried about my weight gain. Yes, you read that right, my weight gain. I'm back up 2lbs.
Just so you know, I'm 100% faithful to the program to date. Not a morsel, calorie free or not, has passed my lips. My water intake fluctuates between three and five litres a day. So on 900 calories of a perfectly balanced meal replacement, my body can still gain weight.
Oddly, I'm not worried or frustrated. It's a relief. It's never seemed believable that hormones and water might make me gain weight. Weight can be gained even if I'm on track for balanced calorie appropriate meals and exercise! I have proof. I can only control what I can control.
Next I need to take that discovery and turn it into action. The number of pounds I weigh on any day is just a number. It can help me know when the trend is going the wrong direction. But what's really going to matter is:
- making good choices as often as I can, and
- not getting demoralized.
The number is just a number. It's a solution to an algorithm with too many unknown variables to calculate. It's as opaque to me as calculus. So I'll focus on what is clear. How I:
- fuel my body, and
- how I use my body.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Should I be worried the weight is coming off too fast?
It doesn't seem possible, but it's true. Today it took a calendar to figure out how far into the Partners for a Healthier Weight program I am. Nineteen days on the program, 12 days on the liquid diet. That's 7% done the liquid only phase.
This may come back to haunt me, but right now, it's not that hard. There's a lot of stress involved in deciding what to eat, when to eat, when to prepare the food. Opening up a package of powder and mixing it with ice and water is easy. And knowing there's no decisions is eliminating a lot of the worry that goes into my normal eating habits.
What have I noticed after nineteen days?
Most of my pants are too big. Unusual for me, but my bra size is holding steady. The inches seem to be coming off my butt, thighs, hips and the area you work out as the obliques. Spanx are still exercise to put on. The stubborn above the belly button fat that usually shrinks with diet and exercise isn't budging.
I am tired. There's a bit of brain fog. It's difficult doing exercise that used to be easy. My 2x10&1 run was a flop on Sunday. Today walking to the car seemed like an effort.
Oh yes, and it's not easy to get blood work done in the HRM during the afternoon.
To me, my weight is coming off a bit too quickly. I am concerned that I'm losing muscle mass. Including the time on 1200 calories and OptiFast 900, it's been about 12 lbs lost in 19 days. My exercise is scaled back already and I'm following the plan exactly, so I notified the team in Halifax about my concerns. Sounds like they'll have questions next time they see me. But they're not worried.
Next steps:
This may come back to haunt me, but right now, it's not that hard. There's a lot of stress involved in deciding what to eat, when to eat, when to prepare the food. Opening up a package of powder and mixing it with ice and water is easy. And knowing there's no decisions is eliminating a lot of the worry that goes into my normal eating habits.
What have I noticed after nineteen days?
Most of my pants are too big. Unusual for me, but my bra size is holding steady. The inches seem to be coming off my butt, thighs, hips and the area you work out as the obliques. Spanx are still exercise to put on. The stubborn above the belly button fat that usually shrinks with diet and exercise isn't budging.
I am tired. There's a bit of brain fog. It's difficult doing exercise that used to be easy. My 2x10&1 run was a flop on Sunday. Today walking to the car seemed like an effort.
Oh yes, and it's not easy to get blood work done in the HRM during the afternoon.
To me, my weight is coming off a bit too quickly. I am concerned that I'm losing muscle mass. Including the time on 1200 calories and OptiFast 900, it's been about 12 lbs lost in 19 days. My exercise is scaled back already and I'm following the plan exactly, so I notified the team in Halifax about my concerns. Sounds like they'll have questions next time they see me. But they're not worried.
Next steps:
- Wake up every morning and stay on plan for the day.
- Make sure the team is ok with the weight loss.
- As my current exercise program ends, replace it with one focused on building muscle probably at the Sackville Sports Stadium.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Partners for a Healthier Weight - Day 11
I`m still trudging along on the Partners for a Healthier Weight. No taste or food has passed my tongue except for the vanilla or chocolate Optifast 900. In the first 4 days on a liquid diet there have been a few moments I expected to be challenging.
- My family met with my sister and parents on an outing that included a picnic. They were great and didn`t offer me any food, but did push a bottle of water on me. (Not such a bad thing).
- Attended a birthday party with snacks, cake and ice cream. Saying no the first round was easy, but I did have to get up and move away from the leftover cake.
- Helped my husband prepare the kids food for supper. He was taking care of diapers, pasta and cooking. So I pitched in to slice up cucumbers, cheese and ham. It went ok... but I`m upstairs typing instead of downstairs with them because the smells were tempting.
Today I`m actually hungry. Maybe because breakfast was late? Maybe because my back hurts and that makes me want to eat? But I don't want anything sweet. Cucumbers have become an over powering smell for me. (I love cucumbers with salt). I would trade a days worth of packets for tuna and cheese or just about anything with salt (especially cucumbers).
The idea of going without real food is still baffling to me. Right now the approach is get up every morning and try my best for the day. Celebrate how far I've come already. So when I go to bed tonight, I'll be 5% done the liquid diet phase. Down to 80 days. In moments by myself I'm still too near tears about the fact that this is what it's taking me to lose weight, that I couldn't manage it by myself.
But I am losing weight, and I am trying to keep habits that kept off the weight from my first weight drop from near 280lbs to between 220 & 230lbs. So I log my food. (Silly, right? The same thing 4 times a day). My water is all logged, too. I weigh myself everyday, but don't get worried about it. Interestingly I did gain weight at least one day on the program. Keeping my exercise up is a challenge. There's a little lack of energy and also a nagging back pain that started the same day as the liquid diet.
Let's see how tomorrow goes.
Monday, September 5, 2011
What is Partners for a Healthier Weight?
To quote some of their welcome package, Partners for a Healthier Weight is a "medically and psychologically supervised" program that "uses a meal replacement called Optifast which provides 900 calories per day. The meal replacement is 12 weeks in duration and is followed by a 6 week transition to food. Regular physician/nurse assessments and blood work are all a mandatory part of the medical monitoring.
The meal replacement will certainly help you lose weight; however it is the weekly facilitator-guided sessions that are essential to your long-term success!"
Before the program starts there needs to be a referral from your family doctor, an initial fasting blood work, and an extended online survey. The results from the blood work and survey are the basis for the meetings with the nurse, dietician, and psychologist. They all assess you for your likely success, review the survey and have some questions of their own. Plus there's a bit of a physical with the nurse.
Week 1 was a welcome and introduction where the nurse, dietician, psychologist and physiotherapist are all present. Because of the pre-work I'd already met the nurse, dietician and psychologist. There was a meet and greet to get to know some of the other participants. Once we'd done the meet and greet the group was divided in half with half starting with a walk test and half starting with weighs and measures.
The weighs and measures were much what you'd expect. Waist measurement, a body comp analysis and an extended blood pressure test. I've forgotten the waist measure and blood pressure, but I have the Tanita Body Composition Analyzer TBF-310 results.
Height 5'5"
Weight 226.0
BMI 37.6
Impedance 422
Fat % 45.8
Fat Mass 103.5 lbs
FFM 122.5 lbs
The walk test was a bit of a surprise to me. They suggested comfortable clothes and sneakers. It turned out to be the 10 M Shuttle Walk Test. I was kicked out at level 11 for not making the time. After it was over I regretted not wearing my sports bra - it was nearing a full out run for me. Unfortunately my course was shared with another who went even farther than I did. I probably went out because of the pressure on my back and hip of always having to turn left and the dizziness. Wish it could be done again and there would be an option to turn left or right on demand!
Most of the rest of the night was caught up in signing away waivers, quick talks and getting an intro to week 1.
Week 1 was a 1200 calorie diet with a strict measure of tracking. Each day there were:
The meal replacement will certainly help you lose weight; however it is the weekly facilitator-guided sessions that are essential to your long-term success!"
Before the program starts there needs to be a referral from your family doctor, an initial fasting blood work, and an extended online survey. The results from the blood work and survey are the basis for the meetings with the nurse, dietician, and psychologist. They all assess you for your likely success, review the survey and have some questions of their own. Plus there's a bit of a physical with the nurse.
Week 1 was a welcome and introduction where the nurse, dietician, psychologist and physiotherapist are all present. Because of the pre-work I'd already met the nurse, dietician and psychologist. There was a meet and greet to get to know some of the other participants. Once we'd done the meet and greet the group was divided in half with half starting with a walk test and half starting with weighs and measures.
The weighs and measures were much what you'd expect. Waist measurement, a body comp analysis and an extended blood pressure test. I've forgotten the waist measure and blood pressure, but I have the Tanita Body Composition Analyzer TBF-310 results.
Height 5'5"
Weight 226.0
BMI 37.6
Impedance 422
Fat % 45.8
Fat Mass 103.5 lbs
FFM 122.5 lbs
The walk test was a bit of a surprise to me. They suggested comfortable clothes and sneakers. It turned out to be the 10 M Shuttle Walk Test. I was kicked out at level 11 for not making the time. After it was over I regretted not wearing my sports bra - it was nearing a full out run for me. Unfortunately my course was shared with another who went even farther than I did. I probably went out because of the pressure on my back and hip of always having to turn left and the dizziness. Wish it could be done again and there would be an option to turn left or right on demand!
Most of the rest of the night was caught up in signing away waivers, quick talks and getting an intro to week 1.
Week 1 was a 1200 calorie diet with a strict measure of tracking. Each day there were:
- 5 70 cal servings of grains and starches (only 2 could be bread, corn, potato, turnip, squash)
- 3-4 65 cal servings of fruit
- unlimited vegetables
- 2-3 90 cal servings of milk or alternatives (milk, yogurt)
- 6-7 75 cal servings of meat or alternatives (1 oz) includes cheese, eggs, peanut butter, legumes
- 3 45 cal servings of fats
- 2-4 condiment servings of 20 cal
The first few days I struggled to get to 1200 calories. I was out and about and didn't have the reference with me. By the end of the weekend, knowing it was your last time in a long time to chew food, it was really hard to stick to the program. There is a cupcake splurge I must admit to being the lone participant in. There were also many of my favorite healthier foods - spinach, corn, raspberries, and apples.
The first week had a high level of anxiety for me. The idea of not eating was just so far out of my realm of possibility it was stressful. There were nightmares and random feelings of being completely overwhelmed.
It's actually been less challenging to be on the liquid diet than to think about being on the liquid diet.
It's actually been less challenging to be on the liquid diet than to think about being on the liquid diet.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Partners for a Healthier Weight - Day 9
More details to come later on the Partners for a Healthier Weight Program. But I wanted to share that I am enrolled and doing my homework.
What that means today is that I`ve just finished day two of 84 days on a liquid diet of 900 calories. That means only 328 (of 336) more drinks to go. And then, presumably, I get to crunch something.
The liquid product is surprisingly disgusting. The OptiFast 900 in Canada is only available in vanilla and chocolate. Both flavours taste vaguely like cake batter. Cold seems to improve the taste some. Made with ice in a blender and using a straw to minimize time on the tongue works best for me. I`ve also gone well past the recommended amount of water to dilute the taste. Both flavours of OptiFast 900 taste better when I`m hungry - but with four packets a day - I`ve only been hungry when out longer than I expected. (Wishing for other flavours or chewing, but not actually hungry).
Odd side effects have been minimal. Behaviour changes are a bit surprising. I`m brushing my teeth constantly. Not certain if that`s to rid my mouth of the flavour or because the toothpaste introduces another taste. The dry(er) mouth is noticeable, but not problematic. My lips have also dried out so there`s an increase usage of lip balm.
My early speculation is that the nasty taste for me - and the almost gagging response to the last few mouthfuls - is not dissimilar to how I feel about many proteins (especially powdered), bananas and yogurt. Might explain the low iron that`s plagued me through life.
As for the running, it`s still going. I finished the learn to run clinic with a slow 3k. This week I got in a couple of 10 & 1s on Sunday, Thursday and Friday. Thursday was about 2.7 in 24 minutes, Friday was 2.5k in the same 24 minutes or so. Not fast... but still moving.
What that means today is that I`ve just finished day two of 84 days on a liquid diet of 900 calories. That means only 328 (of 336) more drinks to go. And then, presumably, I get to crunch something.
The liquid product is surprisingly disgusting. The OptiFast 900 in Canada is only available in vanilla and chocolate. Both flavours taste vaguely like cake batter. Cold seems to improve the taste some. Made with ice in a blender and using a straw to minimize time on the tongue works best for me. I`ve also gone well past the recommended amount of water to dilute the taste. Both flavours of OptiFast 900 taste better when I`m hungry - but with four packets a day - I`ve only been hungry when out longer than I expected. (Wishing for other flavours or chewing, but not actually hungry).
Odd side effects have been minimal. Behaviour changes are a bit surprising. I`m brushing my teeth constantly. Not certain if that`s to rid my mouth of the flavour or because the toothpaste introduces another taste. The dry(er) mouth is noticeable, but not problematic. My lips have also dried out so there`s an increase usage of lip balm.
My early speculation is that the nasty taste for me - and the almost gagging response to the last few mouthfuls - is not dissimilar to how I feel about many proteins (especially powdered), bananas and yogurt. Might explain the low iron that`s plagued me through life.
As for the running, it`s still going. I finished the learn to run clinic with a slow 3k. This week I got in a couple of 10 & 1s on Sunday, Thursday and Friday. Thursday was about 2.7 in 24 minutes, Friday was 2.5k in the same 24 minutes or so. Not fast... but still moving.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Then & Now
There's a change in perspective in my life. Because I've come to realize it's an amazing life. One filled with privilege and wonder. A life that is fortunate.
Don't get me wrong. Complaining is an art I've perfected. A career I treasured has been changed completely by new personnel. My kids make me yell at my kids far too often. There are days when cleaning poop off of two children and pee off the floor happens. There isn't a car I can't curse into being a lemon.
But but but... I can run. My body works reasonable well for all the extra weight. When I'm running, I think about the other amazing things in my life. Some of the highlights are:
It's time to stop thinking about before as the day I ran 10km or the day I realized 300lbs was inevitable with my lifestyle. It's time to stop thinking about after as a picture in a WW magazine with my size 24 jeans held in front of me.
There is just what was then and what I am now.
I define the now every day, every hour and every moment with the choices and decisions I make.
Don't get me wrong. Complaining is an art I've perfected. A career I treasured has been changed completely by new personnel. My kids make me yell at my kids far too often. There are days when cleaning poop off of two children and pee off the floor happens. There isn't a car I can't curse into being a lemon.
But but but... I can run. My body works reasonable well for all the extra weight. When I'm running, I think about the other amazing things in my life. Some of the highlights are:
- My wonderful husband who really couldn't be any better suited to me.
- An amazing family of 3 healthy little girls who each have their own personalities.
- The leave-it-to-beaver home life I had as a kid and the sisters and parents that continue to be part of our lives.
- Friendship offered by many of the same people who have been my friends forever, for half my life or even just a little less.
- The opportunity to learn, read, speak, write and argue without fear.
- Never knowing the fear of poverty, or questioning whether there was enough to feed, clothe and keep ourselves comfortable.
It's time to stop thinking about before as the day I ran 10km or the day I realized 300lbs was inevitable with my lifestyle. It's time to stop thinking about after as a picture in a WW magazine with my size 24 jeans held in front of me.
There is just what was then and what I am now.
I define the now every day, every hour and every moment with the choices and decisions I make.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Fiber 1 Chocolate Peanut Butter Haystacks recipe
Craving a snack tonight and it had to be sweet. It's been a day of heavy exposure to sweets and goodies, but no eating. Tomorrow there's going to be cake, but today was just the torture of baking.
Fiber 1 Chocolate Peanut Butter Haystacks
Ingredients
Really enjoyed the one I tried tonight. But it's worth noting that it was probably a shortage of water that has me craving the sweets. These seem like a much better choice then the chocolate chip cookies I wanted to make!
Fiber 1 Chocolate Peanut Butter Haystacks
Ingredients
- 1/2 c chocolate chips
- 1/2 c low fat peanut butter
- 1 T cocoa powder
- 1 c Fiber 1 original cereal
- 1/4 c coconut
- Mix Fiber 1 and coconut. In larger bowl.
- In a microwave safe bowl, warm chocolate chips in microwave (about 1 minute).
- Add peanut butter to soft chocolate chips and microwave (about 1 minute).
- Stir in cocoa.
- Add chocolate and peanut butter to cereal mix. Stir until coated. If the mix is a bit wet, add more cereal.
- Place on cookie sheet or similar in 12 small piles.
- Refrigerate about 2 hours.
- Eat!
Really enjoyed the one I tried tonight. But it's worth noting that it was probably a shortage of water that has me craving the sweets. These seem like a much better choice then the chocolate chip cookies I wanted to make!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Eating right instead of eating wrong
Eating right is a struggle for me.
Mary tweeted about grocery shopping everyday. She reminded me how far I've come. Not that many years ago I walked through a grocery store to get home everyday. My habit was to pick up supper and my 'snack' for the night. Usually large chips & dip, cookies, Smartfood, chocolate, or my favorite - cheesies. I often ate a large bag of cheesies in one night. Or two. But never three.
When Mary tweeted? My first thought was - wouldn't that be great - fresh fish every night. Quick access to fruit when you run out. Salads just waiting to be picked up. That was a great reminder of how far I've come.
But within a few minutes I knew that today I'd still much rather open a giant bag of cheesies then make a salad. It's hard to understand. The cheesies taste yucky. I feel yucky when I eat them. There's even an eating hangover where my body is dragging for eating them.
So I do the easiest thing possible. I don't buy cheesies. If they get left at my house after a party? They've been known to be opened and DUMPED IN THE GARBAGE. (Or dropped in a food bank box).
But removing the nasty food from the house is just creating a new bad behaviour. Lynn at Life Health Fitness called it Disordered Eating. Mine is less severe. I don't purge. But I do binge. There's a need to keep eating when I'm:
Sometimes I eat til I feel ill. I eat past the food tasting good. I eat when it makes me uncomfortable.
This behaviour? With the food hangovers, the yuck-factor? Gets in the way of my return to running. Slows me down. Makes me feel bad.
I'm going to beat it.
Eight years later, I can say that even if I lived IN a grocery store there will be no return to the daily intake of chips, chocolate or pop. That's a lifestyle change I've made.
And I'm keeping it.
Mary tweeted about grocery shopping everyday. She reminded me how far I've come. Not that many years ago I walked through a grocery store to get home everyday. My habit was to pick up supper and my 'snack' for the night. Usually large chips & dip, cookies, Smartfood, chocolate, or my favorite - cheesies. I often ate a large bag of cheesies in one night. Or two. But never three.
When Mary tweeted? My first thought was - wouldn't that be great - fresh fish every night. Quick access to fruit when you run out. Salads just waiting to be picked up. That was a great reminder of how far I've come.
But within a few minutes I knew that today I'd still much rather open a giant bag of cheesies then make a salad. It's hard to understand. The cheesies taste yucky. I feel yucky when I eat them. There's even an eating hangover where my body is dragging for eating them.
So I do the easiest thing possible. I don't buy cheesies. If they get left at my house after a party? They've been known to be opened and DUMPED IN THE GARBAGE. (Or dropped in a food bank box).
But removing the nasty food from the house is just creating a new bad behaviour. Lynn at Life Health Fitness called it Disordered Eating. Mine is less severe. I don't purge. But I do binge. There's a need to keep eating when I'm:
- tired
- bored
- angry
- alone or
- with others
Sometimes I eat til I feel ill. I eat past the food tasting good. I eat when it makes me uncomfortable.
This behaviour? With the food hangovers, the yuck-factor? Gets in the way of my return to running. Slows me down. Makes me feel bad.
I'm going to beat it.
Eight years later, I can say that even if I lived IN a grocery store there will be no return to the daily intake of chips, chocolate or pop. That's a lifestyle change I've made.
And I'm keeping it.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Veggies gone wild!
The challenge for April was about upping the veggie intake, but now the challenge got bigger. I've signed up for a program at the gym. It was supposed to be just a workout program, or so I thought.
But it's everything. And I'm now eating the Canadian Food Guide. For me that means:
Next I need to fill you in on how much water he has me drinking.
But it's everything. And I'm now eating the Canadian Food Guide. For me that means:
- Vegetables & Fruit - 7 to 8 servings
- Grain Products - 6 to 7 servings
- Milk & Alternatives - 2 servings
- Meat & Alternatives - 2 servings
Next I need to fill you in on how much water he has me drinking.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Running fat: On the treadmill again
Moving on up! Finally got off my rather large ass and got on the treadmill. 35 minutes while watching the Biggest Loser last night. My walks are a little faster than when I was 7 months pregnant, but still a quite slow.
But it was mostly good. I worked hard. Got a good sweat going. Was moving. I don't hurt today. That's all good.
Tonight I was too lazy to do it again, but I did pull out the Wii and did 32 minutes of Wii Fit. That's on top of my walking lunges and crab walk to the bus stop and the sumo walk back. The kids music class "Parent Room" was empty, so I did a few crunches, situps and planks.
My todo list is changing. Instead of just having my homework, things the kids need, meal prep and similar now it starts with "30 minutes of activity".
It feels good to move, to sweat and to feel strong. If I can work this in while parenting 3 kids and going to school? Surely you can, too.
But it was mostly good. I worked hard. Got a good sweat going. Was moving. I don't hurt today. That's all good.
Tonight I was too lazy to do it again, but I did pull out the Wii and did 32 minutes of Wii Fit. That's on top of my walking lunges and crab walk to the bus stop and the sumo walk back. The kids music class "Parent Room" was empty, so I did a few crunches, situps and planks.
My todo list is changing. Instead of just having my homework, things the kids need, meal prep and similar now it starts with "30 minutes of activity".
It feels good to move, to sweat and to feel strong. If I can work this in while parenting 3 kids and going to school? Surely you can, too.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Eating better
Obesity Boot Camp taught me that the little things count. That I shouldn't be trying to change everything at once. That I shouldn't be focused on losing big amounts of weight over a little amount of time.
Since Canadians can't get on Biggest Loser, I kind of have to agree.
I think it was Health Psychologist Michael Vallis that spoke about a theoretical weight loss of 50lbs. That most of us would see success as losing 50lbs in 6 months and keeping it off for 5 years. According to him, long term success would look more like losing 10lbs over 3 months and keeping it off for a year. Then losing another 10lbs. Rinse and repeat until the last 9 months of year 5 you are at goal weight.
To do that? You make small changes and stick with him.
My small change last week was to drink 64oz of water everyday. To help me make it happen I've been putting a container of water (just for me) in the fridge each night to chill. (No more foot stomping and childish behaviour when the kids and husband use up all the cold water in the family pitcher).
It worked. I lost a 2.6 pounds.
This week my goal is high fibre cereal (Fibre 1 Honey Clusters) 5 mornings a week.
On Thursday I'll know if it worked.
Fibre1 Honey Clusters has the following nutritional information per 1 cup.
Calories 200
Fat 1.5g
Sodium 300g
Carb 43g (Fibre 13g)
Protein 5g
Plus it has 50% of my daily iron (something I need).
Since Canadians can't get on Biggest Loser, I kind of have to agree.
I think it was Health Psychologist Michael Vallis that spoke about a theoretical weight loss of 50lbs. That most of us would see success as losing 50lbs in 6 months and keeping it off for 5 years. According to him, long term success would look more like losing 10lbs over 3 months and keeping it off for a year. Then losing another 10lbs. Rinse and repeat until the last 9 months of year 5 you are at goal weight.
To do that? You make small changes and stick with him.
My small change last week was to drink 64oz of water everyday. To help me make it happen I've been putting a container of water (just for me) in the fridge each night to chill. (No more foot stomping and childish behaviour when the kids and husband use up all the cold water in the family pitcher).
It worked. I lost a 2.6 pounds.
This week my goal is high fibre cereal (Fibre 1 Honey Clusters) 5 mornings a week.
On Thursday I'll know if it worked.
Fibre1 Honey Clusters has the following nutritional information per 1 cup.
Calories 200
Fat 1.5g
Sodium 300g
Carb 43g (Fibre 13g)
Protein 5g
Plus it has 50% of my daily iron (something I need).
Friday, October 16, 2009
Running fat: Checking in
Still not running. Still not walking.
But! I did drop a couple of pounds in a week.
Running is still part of the equation, but here's a new interim goal. Losing 15 lbs by Thursday, December 17. So to keep track of where I was and where I'm going my starting measurements on October 8, 2009 were:
Weight - 224.4
Waist - 43
Left Arm - 14
Right Arm - 13.5
Left Leg - 26
Right Leg - 26
Hips - 52
Chest - 46
But! I did drop a couple of pounds in a week.
Running is still part of the equation, but here's a new interim goal. Losing 15 lbs by Thursday, December 17. So to keep track of where I was and where I'm going my starting measurements on October 8, 2009 were:
Weight - 224.4
Waist - 43
Left Arm - 14
Right Arm - 13.5
Left Leg - 26
Right Leg - 26
Hips - 52
Chest - 46
Monday, September 28, 2009
Running while fat: the first goal
Success comes in many forms. Success for this summer was producing and caring for a beautiful new baby girl. She was a healthy 9lbs 15oz.
There were occasionally forays of activities. Two weeks on the treadmill again. Determination to get out walking. But nothing consistent.
I'm back within a few pounds of my pre-pregnancy weight. But I'm already fluctuating up from there. So that means it's time to kick this journey off again. I have so many excuses not to. Kids to care for. House to clean. Meals to cook. Homework to do. Classes to attend. But to paraphrase something I heard on CBC's White Coat Black Art - obese people don't get old. If you see an old fat person? Take a picture. Because most are dead.
Where am I starting from?
Slightly injured. My back lower back is hyper-extended (SI joint). That's causing some hip and shoulder problems, too. Prolapsed uterus that happened postpartum. (That has somewhat worsened the urinary incontinence).*
Haven't weighed myself in awhile, but I will!
No running partner. She's dealing with a long term injury.
Fluctuating between eating well and living on cookies.
Drinking my water more than half the time.
Doing a core-training class once/week.
Regular stretching and Physio that's helping the back, hip and shoulder.
The first goal?
Get moving again!
Hoping for two weeks with three or more walks of 30 minutes or more. (Some of those will be pushing a stroller with about 50lbs of kid in. Please forgive me if they're slow.)
Anyone in?
* Have to note that I'm not the only one. Thanks to Christie O for posting her True Confessions!
There were occasionally forays of activities. Two weeks on the treadmill again. Determination to get out walking. But nothing consistent.
I'm back within a few pounds of my pre-pregnancy weight. But I'm already fluctuating up from there. So that means it's time to kick this journey off again. I have so many excuses not to. Kids to care for. House to clean. Meals to cook. Homework to do. Classes to attend. But to paraphrase something I heard on CBC's White Coat Black Art - obese people don't get old. If you see an old fat person? Take a picture. Because most are dead.
Where am I starting from?
Slightly injured. My back lower back is hyper-extended (SI joint). That's causing some hip and shoulder problems, too. Prolapsed uterus that happened postpartum. (That has somewhat worsened the urinary incontinence).*
Haven't weighed myself in awhile, but I will!
No running partner. She's dealing with a long term injury.
Fluctuating between eating well and living on cookies.
Drinking my water more than half the time.
Doing a core-training class once/week.
Regular stretching and Physio that's helping the back, hip and shoulder.
The first goal?
Get moving again!
Hoping for two weeks with three or more walks of 30 minutes or more. (Some of those will be pushing a stroller with about 50lbs of kid in. Please forgive me if they're slow.)
Anyone in?
* Have to note that I'm not the only one. Thanks to Christie O for posting her True Confessions!
Monday, June 1, 2009
Running Fat & Slow (but with a partner)
Active.com has a great article up about running with a partner.
I have to say, all 8 tips are ones that resonate with me. My running partner has been all of those things, and a great motivator. It was the driving force for many months to know that if I didn't get my training runs in, I wouldn't be able to keep up with her on our regular weekend run. I'm someone who hates to disappoint people, and I knew she wouldn't want to leave me behind, so it worked out well.
Stumbling across the perfect partner for me through the Running Room clinic was pure luck. How did you find your running partner?
Can't wait to be back out there with her. Not sure how long it'll take me to catch back up after the baby arrives!
Status update:
No strolls, walks or anything for me. I'm beat and uncomfortable these days. Growing a baby is hard work. Plus two sick kids. (Excuses are great).
36 weeks pregnant
Slightly over 252lbs (I did stay below 250 for nearly a month, but just jumped up there again today).
Water intake fluctuates, but it's better working from home than it was at work.
I have to say, all 8 tips are ones that resonate with me. My running partner has been all of those things, and a great motivator. It was the driving force for many months to know that if I didn't get my training runs in, I wouldn't be able to keep up with her on our regular weekend run. I'm someone who hates to disappoint people, and I knew she wouldn't want to leave me behind, so it worked out well.
Stumbling across the perfect partner for me through the Running Room clinic was pure luck. How did you find your running partner?
Can't wait to be back out there with her. Not sure how long it'll take me to catch back up after the baby arrives!
Status update:
No strolls, walks or anything for me. I'm beat and uncomfortable these days. Growing a baby is hard work. Plus two sick kids. (Excuses are great).
36 weeks pregnant
Slightly over 252lbs (I did stay below 250 for nearly a month, but just jumped up there again today).
Water intake fluctuates, but it's better working from home than it was at work.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
A little holiday from running fat
Apologies for the delay in writing. There will be no activity in the next few days. The sick, the kids and the solo parenting are ruining my motivation. Will be back when the husband returns.
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