Then & Now

There's a change in perspective in my life. Because I've come to realize it's an amazing life. One filled with privilege and wonder. A life that is fortunate.

Don't get me wrong.  Complaining is an art I've perfected.  A career I treasured has been changed completely by new personnel.  My kids make me yell at my kids far too often.  There are days when cleaning poop off of two children and pee off the floor happens.  There isn't a car I can't curse into being a lemon.

But but but... I can run.  My body works reasonable well for all the extra weight.  When I'm running, I think about the other amazing things in my life.  Some of the highlights are:

• My wonderful husband who really couldn't be any better suited to me.
• An amazing family of 3 healthy little girls who each have their own personalities.
• The leave-it-to-beaver home life I had as a kid and the sisters and parents that continue to be part of our lives.
• Friendship offered by many of the same people who have been my friends forever, for half my life or even just a little less.
• The opportunity to learn, read, speak, write and argue without fear.
• Never knowing the fear of poverty, or questioning whether there was enough to feed, clothe and keep ourselves comfortable.

@Jen_Saunders said the other day, "there is no before & after, only then & now".  I think that defines a shift I am beginning.  There will be no after to weight loss.  No after for running.  There will just be what was then and what is now.

It's time to stop thinking about before as the day I ran 10km or the day I realized 300lbs was inevitable with my lifestyle.  It's time to stop thinking about after as a picture in a WW magazine with my size 24 jeans held in front of me.

There is just what was then and what I am now.

I define the now every day, every hour and every moment with the choices and decisions I make.